Your church is reopening and trauma is coming

I had always believed church to be a safe place. Through years spent attending and pastoring various churches, I developed a deep love and respect for the local church. But I would soon learn that church isn’t really safe at all.

Two major events stole my feeling of security. First, my wife of 20 years succumbed to breast cancer. Second, 10 years later, my 21-year-old son, Taylor, was the victim of a homicide. Both scenarios were very public.

As a pastor, I felt I was living in a fishbowl. Suddenly, the church was no longer a refuge. It became a frightening place that seemed too fearful to manage. Leaders didn’t know what to do. Congregants descended on me. I wanted to hide.
 
Like many other lead pastors, I have discovered working during this COVID-19 pandemic is difficult. We pastors are facing unprecedented situations and flailing in the dark for solutions, but congregants are hurting, too. Trauma has reared its ugly head, and it’s not going away.

As your church reopens, you will see hurting and damaged people coming through your doors. Not only are they dealing with current hardships brought on by the pandemic, but past trauma has been triggered in many of them.

According to a recent article in Medical News Today, “The COVID-19 pandemic has many potential sources of trauma, such as experiencing the death of a loved one. For some people, this can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can also exacerbate existing PTSD symptoms.”

Congregants, like everyone else, are hurting. Here are some suggestions to help you make your church a safe and loving place as you begin to meet again.

Practice the art of presence

As pastors, we feel we have to say the right thing. People are continually looking to us for advice, and even when we aren’t sure what to say, we mumble something that sounds very pastoral. When a person is experiencing trauma, it’s often better not to say anything.

In Romans 12:15, we are commanded to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” In Job 2:11-13, we notice that Job’s friends ministered to him in silence: “And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.”

The most meaningful way others comforted me during the darkness of my suffering was simply by being present. Some would walk by and just touch my elbow. That gesture said, “I am here if you need me.” Others would pray or offer to care for the kids to give me a break.
 
Whatever the case, they weren’t demanding anything of the sufferer or looking for quick fixes. They were practicing the art of presence.
 
When one of my staff members lost a son to suicide, I had nothing to say. So, I just sat with the family for hours. It’s all they needed and wanted. I have repeated that practice over the years, and it has become a joy to simply be. Your presence will speak volumes to one who is suffering.

Talk about your suffering

A powerful way to help your congregants deal with their suffering is to talk about your own. Pastors do suffer, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Charles Spurgeon, the “Prince of Preachers,” said, “I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary.”

A powerful way to help your congregants deal with their suffering is to talk about your own.

He understood that a congregant could find healing when he knows that his pastor understands his pain. When I share what it was like to raise three young children after losing a wife, receiving a call in the middle of the night from homicide detectives, and wading through press conferences and television interviews, I have the congregants’ attention.
 
It’s not to glorify me. It’s to find common ground with them.
 
I can’t count the number of funerals I’ve officiated where I’ve simply said to the family, “I have been where you are.” Instantly, they see me as a real and vulnerable person. I am no longer the holy man or a hired gun in their eyes. I have their ear. I can minister to them in a deeper way.
 
Trauma is coming through your door. Don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles and how the pandemic has affected you. Give your flock a pathway toward healing.

Don’t assume anything

When you look out and see smiling faces in your worship center, it’s easy to assume they’re all doing well. But they’re not.
 
A recent Washington Post article chronicled the massive damage that’s been done by COVID-19. According to the story, “Three months into the coronavirus pandemic, the country is on the verge of another health crisis, with daily doses of death, isolation and fear generating widespread psychological trauma. Federal agencies and experts warn that a historic wave of mental-health problems is approaching: depression, substance abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide.”

Allow your shepherd’s heart to take you deep into the suffering of another. This is what you are called to do. It’s the most gratifying part of ministry.

Churchgoers are experts at pretending. They can make anyone believe anything for a couple of hours on Sunday morning.
 
But it’s a mistake to think there’s not deep-set pain behind the masks, literally and figuratively. It is up to the shepherd to help make the church a safe environment for people to express true hurt and pain.
 
Jesus could see the coming pain Jerusalem would experience because of her rejection of him. This caused him great distress.
 
His shepherd’s heart shows through in Luke 19:41-42: “And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, ‘Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.’”
 
Allow your shepherd’s heart to take you deep into the suffering of another. This is what you are called to do. It’s the most gratifying part of ministry.

Trauma is real, and it is prominent in people’s lives. Don’t let this opportunity go by because you assume everyone is OK.

Train your flock

COVID-19 has offered a wonderful chance to train others to care for the flock. This training really isn’t optional.
 
Paul commanded believers to pass along their knowledge to others. In 2 Timothy 2:2, the apostle wrote, “…and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.”
 
New and emerging resources are available to help you do this. I am honored to host a podcast entitled LifeSupport, which is available on the Faith Radio network of stations. The podcast’s goal is to help trauma sufferers find more of Christ and to help the Christian community learn how to come alongside them.
 
Five Stone Media is doing excellent work in this area, equipping ministry leaders to help those who are suffering. There are also many other resources, such as Stephen Ministries and GriefShare.

The point is: Don’t struggle to deal with congregants’ trauma on your own. Allow others the blessing of helping you.

Help your people find Christ in suffering

Times are hard, which means it’s the perfect opportunity to introduce the concept of Christ’s glorious work in suffering. It is within suffering that Jesus shows himself in a way that is magnificent and life-changing.
 
Many a night I’ve lain in bed and felt unbearable pain. It seemed darkness was winning.

When trauma comes through your door, Christ will be waiting to do miracles and bring a deepening of faith to your church you’ve never imagined.

To combat this sense of descending into darkness, I would listen to faith-filled music and pray. Without fail, Jesus emerged. He did not take the pain away, but I’ve learned to love and trust him in a new and powerful way.
 
It is through pain that we find unshakable faith and learn to obey God’s commands. The psalmist wrote: “It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes” (Psalm 119:71).

I am committed to ushering my flock into God’s throne room by means of their suffering. When trauma comes through your door, Christ will be waiting to do miracles and bring a deepening of faith to your church you’ve never imagined.

Take care of yourself

Finally, in the midst of this pandemic, pastors are struggling. I must admit, I am terrible at self-care, but I am working on it.
 
You will have nothing to give your sheep if you are burned out, angry and frustrated. Pastoral fatigue is real, and we all suffer from it.
 
You need to watch out for your body and mind. Satan attacks pastors, and he is after you. We all know this.
 
1 Peter 5:8 offers this reminder: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
 
I pray God will help you make your church a safe place where congregants can discover the love of Jesus amid suffering. Please take this seriously. Make no mistake about it: Trauma is about to come through your door.

Merger FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions about the Merger

What states make up the Southeast District, how many churches does that constitute, and what is the cultural make-up of the region?

What precipitated the original discussion of a potential merger?

In February of this year, Ernie Cabrera reached out to Gary Rohrmayer and shared the need that Converge Southeast was facing.  Gary shared the steps that were taken to facilitate the Michigan/MidAmerica Merger in 2009-10 and recommended that the first step be that the CSE Board send a letter of inquiry to the CMA Board. This letter, after much prayer and consideration by the CSE Board, was sent early May and brought to the attention of the CMA Board at the May board meeting.

In early March, Gary Rohrmayer brought this to the attention of Scott Ridout who shared a few concerns and important issues such as the Caribbean to be a part of the merger and that there would need to be some plan for the region to become autonomous again. Finally, that the other regional leaders were to be made aware of the merger plan.

What were the major issues surrounding the Southeast’s desire to merge?

The major issues were finances, staffing experience and systems. Ever since the financial crash 12 years ago, CSE has struggled to be financially viable even with the financial assistance of Converge National and the other ten Converge Districts throughout the country. This has impacted the district in its ability to staff appropriately and to create and implement needed systems, all of which CMA can bring to the table.

Why would CMA desire to merge?

There are no financial advantages to this merger.  CSE has no financial assets, only missional opportunities.  To put it in simpler terms: CMA has an opportunity to be neighborly and CSE is asking for our assistance. There were others that offered to help but CSE believes that CMA is the best organization to help them in their time of need.  The generosity of CMA churches, CMA’s financial strength, the talent of the administrative and ministry teams, the executive team and Gary Rohrmayer’s 22 years of regional leadership experience all played a key role in CSE’s desire to ask CMA to assist them during this time. With all of this in mind, the CMA Board desires to take this step of faith because we collectively believe that the Holy Spirit is leading us forward in this endeavor and we are seeking the Spirit’s confirmation from our members.

Is this arrangement forever, or is there a plan to “re-separate” the regions?

The Resolution states: “AND FURTHER BE IT RESOLVED, believing it will take 8-10 years for the CSE family of churches to become healthy and vibrant, the CMA board will regularly and prayerfully consider the efficacy and strategic Kingdom value of CSE becoming an independent entity again.”

This issue will be regularly visited by the CMA Board. Nothing would make us happier than to see this region become healthy and financially viable again, but our experience tells us that it is a long-range plan.

Also, we are deliberately choosing to keep each region’s unique identity. Converge MidAmerica will establish two additional entities (DBA), Converge Southeast and Converge Caribbean, that are governed by one board and led by one executive staff team.   The cost efficiencies for centralized administration, financial and legal, will allow us to invest more resources into field staff.

What happens to the CMA/CSE staff? Particularly, will we have the same access to staff as we have had in the past?

Yes, every MidAmerica Pastor and lay leader will have access to CMA staff.

CMA’s Church Strengthening and Church Planting Staff will make strategic hires in the Southeast and in MidAmerica that will not only assure the coaching, training and resourcing we currently have, but to see these improved through our systems and services. 

Our long-term vision is to have a dedicated church strengthening and church planting person in every region where we have a significant number of churches.  As the funding comes in from our churches, we will continue making those hires.

Are there any theological differences between CMA and CSE?

No, every church in each Converge district is committed to upholding Converge’s Affirmation of Faith and the conviction “In Essentials Unity, In Non-Essentials Liberty, In All Things Charity.” 

Will there be two regional presidents, or will Gary lead the entire area?

Gary will function as the one regional president.  Ernie Cabrera will function on the Executive Team as VP of Church Partnerships.  50% of his time will be working in the area of affiliating churches into the Converge Family.  25% will be focused in Pastoral Care.  25% will be focused on overseeing and expanding the Caribbean mission team.  Today there are 3 full-time missionaries serving churches in the Caribbean and we are looking to see that team be expanded.

What will it cost CMA financially to do this merger and will we be able to fund CSE and continue to fund what is going on within CMA?

In 1999 the Converge MidAmerica Board of Overseers made an intentional commitment to spend down the assets they had accumulated over their 165 year history.  From 2000-2010 we spent $2,245,000 to see 66 churches planted during that time.  In 2010 the Board of Overseers asked Gary Rohrmayer to address this issue.  By going to a part-time practioner model in church strengthening and church planting from 2010-2017, the merger with Converge Michigan, the sale of two businesses started in the early 2000’s, a significant donation, and the continual increase of giving from our churches, we had 7 years of positive cash flow and increased our assets $2,350,000 along with seeing 89 churches started in 2010-2018.

The Board of Overseers is prepared to take the same step of faith that it took in 1999 and spend down the necessary assets as a strategic investment into the kingdom of God without hurting the CMA financial position.  We are under the conviction that a continual investment in the harvest is the best way to protect our financial future.

This seems to be moving very quickly. Why is that?

The timeline has always been driven by Converge Southeast because of their financial challenges.  Recently they have decided to slow down the process, consider all the options in front of them and to develop a thorough communication plan to their churches which led to a new merger timeline.

More about the Merger

Maintaining Our Focus

Remember Dug, the talking dog from the movie “Up”? He had a device that allowed his master to hear and understand him. What we discover is that as much as Dug wants to focus intently on his master, he is constantly distracted by squirrels. Dug’s hilarious distraction has become part of our vernacular. We now call them “squirrel” moments.

Brothers and sisters, I think that we might be in potential squirrel moment. As much as we desire to stay focused on the Master, I fear our focus is being tempted to shift to other things, even important things. We are now approaching month seven of the COVID 19 pandemic. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined how life would be so radically altered and how we do church to pivot constantly. We are entering a presidential election cycle that once again is dividing our country into differing ideologies, and according to some, who I vote for makes some sort of statement as to my spiritual maturity. Our cities are literally blowing up with unrest and we wonder if it will ever “settle down” again. If there was ever a potential for distraction, this would be it.

Recently, I read Psalm 63 and I was struck with my desperate need to re-focus on the Master. “God, you are my God; I eagerly seek you. I thirst for you; my body faints for you in a land that is dry, desolate, and without water. So, I gaze on you in the sanctuary to see your strength and your glory.” (Ps. 63:1-2)

Do you see it? Our focus must always be on Him. Our desire must always be for Him. Our gaze must always be fixed on Him. Pastor, is this your truth today? Are you pursuing Him above all the other things that swirl around us? Are you preaching and teaching and sharing on your social media ways to help your people eagerly focus on the only One who satisfies? Are you reminding your people that in the midst of living in a dry, desolate land without water, the only hope we have is to maintain our gaze on the Source of living water? Pastor, if we are not focused on the Master, how will be able to lead our congregations to do the same? The tendency toward distraction is real and this distraction will not only affect us, but our congregations as well.

Verses 3-5 are most striking and convicting to me. “My lips will glorify you because your faithful love is better than life. So, I will bless you as long as I live; at your name, I will lift up my hands. You satisfy me as with rich food; my mouth will praise you with joyful lips.” Is He better than life? Do you really believe it? Do the people in your church really believe it?

Losing our focus on the Master will manifest itself in fear. It is only when we fix our gaze on Him that we will experience joy that transcends fear, and allows us, even in the midst of distraction to lift our hands in joyful praise. This is what pastoral leadership demands. This should be our focus in every conversation.

My prayer is that the churches of Converge MidAmerica will focus, in the midst of these difficult days, on earnestly seeking the Master. I pray that we would encourage each other to keep our eyes fixed on the Master. And finally, I pray that we would continue to press into a better together that shows everyone around us what it means to live in the joy of the Master!

We love you!

Gary’s Observations Concerning the Merger

One of the values I have sought to operate from throughout my ministry is, “We as Jesus followers must be ready to move where God is moving!” Throughout this merger discussion, we have prayed to see the hand of God in this opportunity because it could just as easily be a missional distraction as a missional opportunity.

After two months of multi-level meetings with both boards, a joint task force and staff members, as well as extensive research and due diligence, both regional boards have unanimously agreed to a merger plan to be proposed to the delegates of our churches for a vote of affirmation.

As we approach this merger here are some things to keep in mind:

  1. This merger is only possible because of the generosity of Converge MidAmerica Churches and our financial supporters.
  2. This merger is rooted in the lessons learned from the successful merger between Michigan and MidAmerica that happened ten years ago which has led to over 50% growth of that region.
  3. This agreement is in line with Converge President Scott Ridout’s desire to see stronger regional entities in Converge as well as his desire to see that one day Converge Southeast will become a self-governing and self-supporting ministry again.
  4. To keep each region’s unique identity, Converge MidAmerica will establish two additional entities (DBA), Converge Southeast and Converge Caribbean that are governed by one board and lead by one executive staff team.
    President – Gary Rohrmayer;
    VP of Church Strengthening – Bryan Moak;
    VP of Church Planting – Danny Parmelee;
    VP of Church Partnerships – Ernie Cabrera.
  5. This agreement will force us to grow smaller through a strong presence of Together Groups, consistent regional gatherings of 8-12 pastors in a geographic region where peer learning, mutual encouragement and missional engagement happens.
  6. This agreement will be another step to a long-term vision of having part-time church strengthening and church planting personnel in every region where we have significant church presence.
  7. This agreement provides the greatest missional opportunity in the history of Converge MidAmerica. Not only will it provide church planting and church partnerships in five additional states but opens the doors for developing a strategic missionary force reaching 27 countries with 43 million people in the Caribbean. Today, Converge Southeast has three full-time missionaries serving in the Caribbean and we could dream of 10-20 missionaries being sent out from our churches to reach this part of the world in the next ten years.

All in all, we sense God is moving in this merger with Converge Southeast and that it will enrich the mission of MidAmerica and will not detract from it. We believe that with this merger, we will have the opportunity to impact over 100,000 men, women and children with the Gospel of Jesus through the starting and strengthening of churches.

Let us all continue to prayerfully seek God’s leading and confirmation in this matter.

More About the Merger